I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
