I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do herpes really smell.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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