i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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