Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
