Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
