If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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