my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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