On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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