I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
