Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
