also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize