So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
