He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
