I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
