everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
