My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
