you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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