So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
