Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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