I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
