Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
