Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Farmville is her only friend.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
