Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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