He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
