tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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