Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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