Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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