found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
