Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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