I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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