If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
