I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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