thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
