id be glad to
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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