I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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