mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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