You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
