96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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