It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
