Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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