forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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