I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
