Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
