Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
