it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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