need another drink. this is the easiest way
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
