and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
