if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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