Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize