yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
