The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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