dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
