I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
