Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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