She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
