i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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