tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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