I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
