Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
