Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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