Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
