We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
