He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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