Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
