i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
only you would photoshop your dick
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
