I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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