I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
two words...techno handjob
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize