My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
