you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
