Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He had one of those small greek statue penises
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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