im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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