So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
