Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
