All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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