is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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