that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
