If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
