I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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