Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
