did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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