He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you would pick up someone in the library
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
