HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
