you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
