Yo dont text me then not text me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
